Java Any Idea How Annoying You Are?

Album Cover: Narrow Stairs

"As the flashbulbs burst, she holds a smile like someone would hold a crying child."
Death Cab For Cutie / Cath...

Posted on June 04, 2006 2:14 PM in Web Development
Warning: This blog entry was written two or more years ago. Therefore, it may contain broken links, out-dated or misleading content, or information that is just plain wrong. Please read on with caution.

HTML Hell is a multifaceted place, for sure ("masturbation with JavaScript?" - lolgasm!). However, I would much rather spend my day wading through blink tag-infested, fluorescent pink web pages steeped in frames, than visit just one site that uses Java for any reason.

Why, I hear you ask? It's simple. 90% of the time when a website I visit uses Java, I don't know what it's using it for. I know it's using it, though, because my computer starts to make strange noises, my browser freezes up just a bit, and then I see the international symbol for "I'm wasting valuable resources" pop up in my system tray:

Java Sucks

I think the last time this happened, I was looking at an article at CNN. I know for a fact I don't need Java running to read an article. More than likely, Java was being used to serve up some annoying ad on the site's sidebar that I definitely didn't read, and most likely had some annoying monkey wearing boxing gloves running around in a 200 by 600 block daring me to hit it for cash. Riiiiiiiiiight.

So here's a lesson for you web developers out there. Stop using Java. Java isn't for web developers. In fact, there are people out there who don't think Java is for anyone. When faced with the decision of whether or not to use Java, go with something cooler, like the marquee tag. Got it?


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