Lawn Bowling and Curling

Album Cover: Icky Thump

"You can't be a pimp and a prostitute, too."
White Stripes / Icky Thump

Posted on September 08, 2007 8:02 PM in Poetry
Warning: This blog entry was written two or more years ago. Therefore, it may contain broken links, out-dated or misleading content, or information that is just plain wrong. Please read on with caution.

My fiancée and I met a friend of ours for dinner last night. During our conversation, we had agreed it would be fun to go bowling this weekend. However, given that our friend is a member of the tribe to the north, it wasn't clear to her what we meant by bowling. She started asking whether we meant 5-pin or 10-pin bowling. Neither my fiancée nor myself had ever heard of the former, given that it is a Canadian-only variant of the sport.

The confusion eventually led to me asking if she meant lawn bowling (which apparently is actually called Bowls?), but she obviously did not. That spun off into a conversation about strange sports — or more importantly, strange Canadian sports. And therefore, we inevitably ended up on the topic of Curling, a hilarious sport that is on the list of things I want to try before I die.

Anyway, tonight I decided to skim through some of my older poems (after reading this article), and lo and behold I stumbled upon a poem I wrote in college (which was actually published in PLU's Saxifrage):

Why is it that wisdom prides itself in wrinkles?
I am simply too naive to write poetry
Had I the years and a trip to Greece
Or the energy of a crippled man
Then would I write!
There must be some mystical season
That some power has bestowed upon the Mediterranean
That would in no doubt put our autumn to shame
If, later in life, I were to take up lawn bowling or curling
And forget to write about the things I cannot say
Then I might as well live in Canada
And be buried in an unmarked grave
Next to the old woman who bred weasels

Life sure is crazy sometimes.

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